When I sit down to think about life before Eli I'm in awe, once again, at the incredible thing it is to welcome a child into the world. Babies are little miracles. Every single one of them. For something to be formed from two cells into intricate little beings is, if you ask me, incomprehensible. Not only are their physical bodies amazing, their personalities and character show through from the minute they're born and getting to know them is an experience all its own.
I also love how amazing each and every birth story is and how much we, especially women, value these stories. They are life changing and mark a time in life that is unlike any other. There are so many unanswered questions leading up to birth and so many emotional and valuable details in that short, yet all too important day or days in a mom's life.
I definitely had fear about bringing another baby into the world. I wondered whether I could have a successful VBAC following such a long labor turned c section with Tucker. But these fears were early on…leading up to this pregnancy and in the first few months of it. With time they were calmed and I was shocked at how I really had no fear or thought of complications throughout my labor.
I give that credit to God, of course, for healing my heart from the disappointment I had with my first delivery and giving me peace through the promises in His Word. Credit is also due to the "team" I had. The midwives at Bay Area Midwifery really are pretty amazing. They do an incredible job of being available and being informative, encouraging and, of course, delivering! We also had the opportunity to hire a doula who was phenomenal. Knowing she would walk me through labor was key! She shared my belief that God had a perfect plan for this labor and delivery and encouraged me with the scripture I ultimately used to meditate on in the weeks leading up to labor and all the way through birth. There were two more people who made this experience as wonderful as I could have hoped…I could not have hand picked a better nurse to be in the room with us. My midwives and doula even said they were amazed at how involved and encouraging she was. And without a doubt…I could not have done this without my amazing husband. Alfred was so supportive and put his needs aside to meet mine.
So…the story goes something like this. Three weeks before my due date Alfred went to California for his grandfather's funeral. Of course the baby dropped while he was gone so I wondered if that meant labor was coming soon. Nothing happened and once he was home I was grateful for that first sign of progress. I also had the chance to soak in alone time with Tucker. I wanted to enjoy every minute of it because I knew I wouldn't have many opportunities to be with just him. One night we picked up some Chic Fil A and took it to the park where we ate in the back of the car followed by play time. It was his first real trip to a playground so it was fun to watch him discover new things. We snuggled and fell asleep together in my bed each night and I took as many pictures of us together as I could.
We talked about when "baby" would come and that Nana and Popop would be here. We talked about hearing baby's heart and wondered if it would be a boy or girl. I will always cherish that time!
My parents came a week before the expected arrival, but my due date came and went. I still felt really good and didn't want to push things along any faster than need be but I wanted them to be here for it!! Finally, on Thursday May 22nd I started to feel itty bitty contractions right around lunch time. I'd had tons of Braxton Hicks, but these were more regular. I didn't say anything but knew it wouldn't be long before real labor would start. That evening Alfred's commute home was horrendous seeing as it was Memorial Day weekend so I knew I didn't want him to go to work the next day. That feeling was affirmed when I lost part of my plug around 7pm.
I told him very quietly that he wouldn't be going in the morning and he knew what I meant. I soaked up bedtime with Tucker knowing things were about to change and headed to bed. Around 1:30 I woke with contractions strong enough that I had to sit up to get comfortable. I texted my doula but left Alfred sleeping. At 3am it was time to check in with the midwives seeing as things were pretty consistent. She thanked me for the update and said I would know when it was right to head to the hospital. Alfred woke for a little bit, but I assured him he should keep resting. I think I may have gotten some sleep in between contractions myself as they were about 10 minutes apart.
The sun came up and Alfred headed downstairs. I overheard him tell my dad that he wasn't going to work and that today was the day. I tried to keep resting and kept my doula, Jennifer, informed. It was hard to know what my body was doing because I would go from having healthy contractions every ten minutes lasting 1-2 minutes and then it would switch to 1 minute contractions every 3 minutes…and then go back to longer stretches in between.
I took comfort knowing that no matter the timing my body was doing its job and I was grateful to be at home. Of course, it was interesting having the family there. At one point I walked by my dad during a contraction apparently looking like I was in pain only to have him ask, "what's wrong with you?" HA! Um, let me think…I'm having a contraction!?!? He's always good for a little comic relief.
I spent the morning resting and walking and pulling weeds in the garden which was wonderful but it had been a full 24 hours since labor started and I decided I didn't want to wait much longer to have Jennifer here. When she arrived my contractions were about 3 minutes apart. Of course I stalled as soon as she sat down to catch up on details. We both knew I should take advantage of the break and get some rest while the boys were outside building a fence for the garden.
A half hour later they started again so we determined it would be best to encourage labor. We took about 4 laps around the yard (harder than you think when you have to stop every few minutes) before heading back inside for water and a break. Then it was hiking the stairs two at a time that really progressed things. Around dinner time my in-laws showed up to help keep Tucker occupied and then everyone left to grab dinner.
Realizing they would need something to eat too Alfred and Jennifer ordered pizza. Of course, once it was ordered I wondered how long it would take to be delivered. I started to think the delivery guy might have to leave it on the front steps as I could tell a trip to the hospital was very near.
Thankfully he showed up fairly quickly. They both got a bite to eat before I had that one contraction that told me it was time to go. Jennifer filled me in on ways to deal with contractions in the car and followed us for the 35 minute ride over the bridge. I could not have been more grateful for another stall in my labor during that trip with only two or three contractions instead of 10 or 15!
Our prayer on the way over was that I would be far enough along to be admitted. As it turned out they didn't even check me and let my midwife call the shots….I was in. I really didn't know what to hope for when it came time to check how far dilated I was so when she announced that I was at a 6 we all cried!! Alfred and I both remembered very vividly the disappointment we had with my first labor when I progressed so slowly.
We got settled into the room and before I knew it it was dark outside. I found myself wanting to labor in bed so I could rest between contractions. I had always imagined myself walking the halls, doing everything I could to make things move along but for whatever reason I knew it was best to rest. And it ended up being all I needed. Well, that and a quick trip to empty my bladder. With that I lost the rest of my plug and shortly after was measured by the student midwife, Melanie, who we absolutely love. Because she was a student she had to run her measurement by our midwife, Shaina. I heard them whispering and discussing something and thought I was in for some bad news so when she looked up and said I was complete relief swept over me.
They promised me I would feel the urge to push and hoped that my water would break but that never happened. We tried several positions without success. Shaina decided to break my water and I pushed with each contraction. It took everything in me to make the effort. I was exhausted. With every wave of pain Alfred was there. He held my hand while I pulled my body towards the contraction. Between each one Jennifer was giving me water to stay hydrated.
I lost all sense of time, but knew I needed someone else's power to get me through. Jennifer read me some verses and I remember the words to a song come out of my mouth..."I will call upon Your name. And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine." I also repeated a verse Tucker memorized in Sunday school that always brings me so much joy to hear him rehearse…"My God will meet all my needs" Philippians 4:19. The comfort of knowing that Jesus' strength has been given to me kept me calm.
My midwives had hardly left my side since the moment I got there (completely different from my first experience) both making conversation at the appropriate time and being quiet when they knew I needed it. I remember feeling totally drained and looking up at each of the faces of these amazing people. When my eyes met theirs they gave me so much support. They told me I could do it. They encouraged me and supported me and gave me practical guidance to make every push count. Very vividly I remember looking up at the strip of wall paper above me and thinking, "is it really me giving birth right now? Am I actually in this place drawing up every ounce of strength to welcome a human being into this world?" And then I would push so hard that I would see stars. I told the room that I was going to pass out. They didn't believe me, but I wasn't convinced that I could go another push without completely blacking out.
Thankfully that never happened and after 1 hour and 16 minutes of pushing, at 2:01 am this beautiful little crying being was handed up to me. I could not comprehend the words, "it's a boy", but really, all I felt was utter relief that I didn't have to muster up the strength to push again. I never got the ring of fire and maybe it's the miracle of childbirth that you forget the pain once it's over, but I don't remember the pain.
Remembering is the hard part for me. My memory is terrible, but just knowing that my little one was safe in my arms was amazing. He nursed great right off the bat. There was a little bit of concern about his body temperature being too low so they did blood work…over and over because the blood kept coagulating so his poor little heal was all battered, but it was the kangaroo care that got him past all of that.
Now what to name him? and waiting to introduce him to his brother! Tucker came later that day with both sets of grandparents to finally meet the newest family member. We knew we had to have a name for this introduction so we settled on Eli Jackson. Admittedly I wasn't sold on the name for quite a while, but now I wouldn't change it one bit. And I love the meaning. The Greek meaning is "defender of man." In Hebrew it means "the offering" or "lifting up" as well as "My God, My God." We like how when Jesus suffered He called on the Father saying, "My God, My God" and that the verse I used most to get through my challenges started with the same words.
Tucker was so sweet kissing and holding Eli. Of course he made us laugh when he felt the bed move…you know how it fluctuates so the patient doesn't rest on one spot too much. Well, Tucker looked down as if he felt a phone vibrate and said, "Oh, somebody's callin!'"
Alfred and I could not be more grateful for the way things went. We are amazed at the difference in my recovery knowing how long it took to get over a c section. We praise the Lord for sweet Eli and the story of his arrival.
I also love how amazing each and every birth story is and how much we, especially women, value these stories. They are life changing and mark a time in life that is unlike any other. There are so many unanswered questions leading up to birth and so many emotional and valuable details in that short, yet all too important day or days in a mom's life.
I definitely had fear about bringing another baby into the world. I wondered whether I could have a successful VBAC following such a long labor turned c section with Tucker. But these fears were early on…leading up to this pregnancy and in the first few months of it. With time they were calmed and I was shocked at how I really had no fear or thought of complications throughout my labor.
I give that credit to God, of course, for healing my heart from the disappointment I had with my first delivery and giving me peace through the promises in His Word. Credit is also due to the "team" I had. The midwives at Bay Area Midwifery really are pretty amazing. They do an incredible job of being available and being informative, encouraging and, of course, delivering! We also had the opportunity to hire a doula who was phenomenal. Knowing she would walk me through labor was key! She shared my belief that God had a perfect plan for this labor and delivery and encouraged me with the scripture I ultimately used to meditate on in the weeks leading up to labor and all the way through birth. There were two more people who made this experience as wonderful as I could have hoped…I could not have hand picked a better nurse to be in the room with us. My midwives and doula even said they were amazed at how involved and encouraging she was. And without a doubt…I could not have done this without my amazing husband. Alfred was so supportive and put his needs aside to meet mine.
So…the story goes something like this. Three weeks before my due date Alfred went to California for his grandfather's funeral. Of course the baby dropped while he was gone so I wondered if that meant labor was coming soon. Nothing happened and once he was home I was grateful for that first sign of progress. I also had the chance to soak in alone time with Tucker. I wanted to enjoy every minute of it because I knew I wouldn't have many opportunities to be with just him. One night we picked up some Chic Fil A and took it to the park where we ate in the back of the car followed by play time. It was his first real trip to a playground so it was fun to watch him discover new things. We snuggled and fell asleep together in my bed each night and I took as many pictures of us together as I could.
We talked about when "baby" would come and that Nana and Popop would be here. We talked about hearing baby's heart and wondered if it would be a boy or girl. I will always cherish that time!
My parents came a week before the expected arrival, but my due date came and went. I still felt really good and didn't want to push things along any faster than need be but I wanted them to be here for it!! Finally, on Thursday May 22nd I started to feel itty bitty contractions right around lunch time. I'd had tons of Braxton Hicks, but these were more regular. I didn't say anything but knew it wouldn't be long before real labor would start. That evening Alfred's commute home was horrendous seeing as it was Memorial Day weekend so I knew I didn't want him to go to work the next day. That feeling was affirmed when I lost part of my plug around 7pm.
I told him very quietly that he wouldn't be going in the morning and he knew what I meant. I soaked up bedtime with Tucker knowing things were about to change and headed to bed. Around 1:30 I woke with contractions strong enough that I had to sit up to get comfortable. I texted my doula but left Alfred sleeping. At 3am it was time to check in with the midwives seeing as things were pretty consistent. She thanked me for the update and said I would know when it was right to head to the hospital. Alfred woke for a little bit, but I assured him he should keep resting. I think I may have gotten some sleep in between contractions myself as they were about 10 minutes apart.
The sun came up and Alfred headed downstairs. I overheard him tell my dad that he wasn't going to work and that today was the day. I tried to keep resting and kept my doula, Jennifer, informed. It was hard to know what my body was doing because I would go from having healthy contractions every ten minutes lasting 1-2 minutes and then it would switch to 1 minute contractions every 3 minutes…and then go back to longer stretches in between.
I took comfort knowing that no matter the timing my body was doing its job and I was grateful to be at home. Of course, it was interesting having the family there. At one point I walked by my dad during a contraction apparently looking like I was in pain only to have him ask, "what's wrong with you?" HA! Um, let me think…I'm having a contraction!?!? He's always good for a little comic relief.
I spent the morning resting and walking and pulling weeds in the garden which was wonderful but it had been a full 24 hours since labor started and I decided I didn't want to wait much longer to have Jennifer here. When she arrived my contractions were about 3 minutes apart. Of course I stalled as soon as she sat down to catch up on details. We both knew I should take advantage of the break and get some rest while the boys were outside building a fence for the garden.
A half hour later they started again so we determined it would be best to encourage labor. We took about 4 laps around the yard (harder than you think when you have to stop every few minutes) before heading back inside for water and a break. Then it was hiking the stairs two at a time that really progressed things. Around dinner time my in-laws showed up to help keep Tucker occupied and then everyone left to grab dinner.
Realizing they would need something to eat too Alfred and Jennifer ordered pizza. Of course, once it was ordered I wondered how long it would take to be delivered. I started to think the delivery guy might have to leave it on the front steps as I could tell a trip to the hospital was very near.
Thankfully he showed up fairly quickly. They both got a bite to eat before I had that one contraction that told me it was time to go. Jennifer filled me in on ways to deal with contractions in the car and followed us for the 35 minute ride over the bridge. I could not have been more grateful for another stall in my labor during that trip with only two or three contractions instead of 10 or 15!
Our prayer on the way over was that I would be far enough along to be admitted. As it turned out they didn't even check me and let my midwife call the shots….I was in. I really didn't know what to hope for when it came time to check how far dilated I was so when she announced that I was at a 6 we all cried!! Alfred and I both remembered very vividly the disappointment we had with my first labor when I progressed so slowly.
We got settled into the room and before I knew it it was dark outside. I found myself wanting to labor in bed so I could rest between contractions. I had always imagined myself walking the halls, doing everything I could to make things move along but for whatever reason I knew it was best to rest. And it ended up being all I needed. Well, that and a quick trip to empty my bladder. With that I lost the rest of my plug and shortly after was measured by the student midwife, Melanie, who we absolutely love. Because she was a student she had to run her measurement by our midwife, Shaina. I heard them whispering and discussing something and thought I was in for some bad news so when she looked up and said I was complete relief swept over me.
They promised me I would feel the urge to push and hoped that my water would break but that never happened. We tried several positions without success. Shaina decided to break my water and I pushed with each contraction. It took everything in me to make the effort. I was exhausted. With every wave of pain Alfred was there. He held my hand while I pulled my body towards the contraction. Between each one Jennifer was giving me water to stay hydrated.
I lost all sense of time, but knew I needed someone else's power to get me through. Jennifer read me some verses and I remember the words to a song come out of my mouth..."I will call upon Your name. And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace, for I am Yours and You are mine." I also repeated a verse Tucker memorized in Sunday school that always brings me so much joy to hear him rehearse…"My God will meet all my needs" Philippians 4:19. The comfort of knowing that Jesus' strength has been given to me kept me calm.
My midwives had hardly left my side since the moment I got there (completely different from my first experience) both making conversation at the appropriate time and being quiet when they knew I needed it. I remember feeling totally drained and looking up at each of the faces of these amazing people. When my eyes met theirs they gave me so much support. They told me I could do it. They encouraged me and supported me and gave me practical guidance to make every push count. Very vividly I remember looking up at the strip of wall paper above me and thinking, "is it really me giving birth right now? Am I actually in this place drawing up every ounce of strength to welcome a human being into this world?" And then I would push so hard that I would see stars. I told the room that I was going to pass out. They didn't believe me, but I wasn't convinced that I could go another push without completely blacking out.
Thankfully that never happened and after 1 hour and 16 minutes of pushing, at 2:01 am this beautiful little crying being was handed up to me. I could not comprehend the words, "it's a boy", but really, all I felt was utter relief that I didn't have to muster up the strength to push again. I never got the ring of fire and maybe it's the miracle of childbirth that you forget the pain once it's over, but I don't remember the pain.
Remembering is the hard part for me. My memory is terrible, but just knowing that my little one was safe in my arms was amazing. He nursed great right off the bat. There was a little bit of concern about his body temperature being too low so they did blood work…over and over because the blood kept coagulating so his poor little heal was all battered, but it was the kangaroo care that got him past all of that.
Now what to name him? and waiting to introduce him to his brother! Tucker came later that day with both sets of grandparents to finally meet the newest family member. We knew we had to have a name for this introduction so we settled on Eli Jackson. Admittedly I wasn't sold on the name for quite a while, but now I wouldn't change it one bit. And I love the meaning. The Greek meaning is "defender of man." In Hebrew it means "the offering" or "lifting up" as well as "My God, My God." We like how when Jesus suffered He called on the Father saying, "My God, My God" and that the verse I used most to get through my challenges started with the same words.
Tucker was so sweet kissing and holding Eli. Of course he made us laugh when he felt the bed move…you know how it fluctuates so the patient doesn't rest on one spot too much. Well, Tucker looked down as if he felt a phone vibrate and said, "Oh, somebody's callin!'"
Alfred and I could not be more grateful for the way things went. We are amazed at the difference in my recovery knowing how long it took to get over a c section. We praise the Lord for sweet Eli and the story of his arrival.
